11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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