it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
