I'm gonna have a badass scar
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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