this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
