What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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