youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
