hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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