I forgot how hot balto sounded
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
