Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
