We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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