Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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