his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
