i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
