Cold hands, warm shart.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
