that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
