My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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