You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize