i already hear my dad disowning me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
