I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
