I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
