stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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