why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize