I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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