I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
