so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
