You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize