i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
