I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
