I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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