I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
