Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
