I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
