Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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