You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
