is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
