Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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