just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
