Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
