K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
