So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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