Where is the hickey?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
