Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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