I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
