I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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