ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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