we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
