I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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