On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
