Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
