they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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