"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
