one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
