im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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