Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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