are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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