is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
