So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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