I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
