i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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