He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
