You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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