She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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