Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
