she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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