I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
