just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
