just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
