Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
